Thursday, September 3, 2009



It has been touch and go so far with me and Sugar. I'm getting acquainted with her ways and in turn she's learning what to expect from me. It's a two way thing going on here. There are no winners or losers, just simply getting to know our limitations, our flaws, weaknesses as well as strengths and how far one can push the other.

Sugar is still in the puppy stages of development so I do give her some latitude. At the same time she needs to know her boundaries, and the fact that none of my shoes, sneakers, or sandals are any part of her own growing pile of chew toys.

Today we go to Petco to get more food and probably another chew toy or one that will be good for a game of pull and tug.

There are moments when I'm ready to load her into her carrier, plop it into the front seat of my car and head back to that puppy store telling them I must've not been in the right state of mind, and return her.

Those moments are more fleeting now. They only come when I find her discovering another electrical cord behind a sofa or chair, or dashing through the house with one of my sandals, or missing the poopie pad.

Yet she's someone to get up for in the mornings. Someone else to think about during the day and provide for her needs. I think of the long winter months ahead and surmise that Sugar's company is going to be a welcome plus in my life.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dating Hell, Relationship Heaven Can Be Ordered Here




Yes, I wrote a book on dating after a certain age. Actually, it's my own journey from becoming widowed and finally entering the dating pool again after thirty plus years. I think by my own personal account I might help others gain a bit more insight into this new phase of one's life. For the unexpected, particularly those who lose a spouse through a death, we can find ourselves on a journey and have no true sense of where we're going, or why. We may flounder, make stupid mistakes, become alienated to even ourselves as well as family and friends.

It is all a process, a journey, and as far as the destination, that can be the exciting part. We don't know where or even if we will find that rainbow's end.

Nonetheless, it's a journey worth taking for it might even lead us back to discover our own true selves.

You can order directly through Paypal and I will send you a PDF file of my book. The button is to your right here on this blog.

Or you can order through Amazon.com for the Kindle Version.

Dating Hell, Relationship Heaven is also available at Smashwords and can be downloaded in a variety of formats.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Where do writers get their ideas!

Everywhere! Anywhere! It can be a thought, a verse, a poem, an incident, or during a walk, a car ride, on an airplane in mid flight, on a boat, a cruise ship, or while doing dishes, or washing the bathroom floor, taking the dog out to do its thing, planting a garden, mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, cleaning the basement, watching a program on TV or a movie on the silver screen.

Or it can happen while shopping in a grocery store.

That happened to me today when I stopped to pick up a few things like yogurt, coleslaw, rolls, and some milk. I spotted a man dressed in a black tank top and tan shorts. His jet black hair was worn short, but you could tell if he let it grow longer it would become thick and even unruly. He was tanned, the kind of tan that is earned not by sunbathing but by working outside. And he was very well built. So I'm guessing construction.

He glanced over at me. And I thought what a perfect specimen, and saw a character developing. I briefly returned the glance, and self-conscioudly slipped into another aisle, all the while peeking around the corner. He glanced again my way, and I pretended to be studying the contents on a can of cat food.

Finally, I knew I had to make my way to the cashier where he was now paying for his purchases. It's a small store and I had two choices. Get in the same line behind him, or go in the one at the right where a customer had a loaded cart.

I took a deep breath and placed my few items on the conveyor belt as he paid for his stuff, and then he left.

A brief moment in time. A lost opportunity.

Still, it triggered something inside my mind, and as I drove home I mentally heard a conversation going on between two women.
-----------------------------------------------------------

"I just met the sexiest man," Janette told her roommate Nicole as she lined up the cartons of yogurt on the refrigerator shelf. "I didn't actually meet him, I spotted him."

"Tell me where that was so I can see if there's more like him." Nicole laughed. "It's the middle of a Sunday afternoon. Where could you meet someone like that anyway?"

"Becker's Foods." Janette smiled, closing the door. "And I'm wondering if maybe he does his shopping there every Sunday afternoon."

"Wow, you're serious."

"Yes, and I'm going back next week to find out if my hunch is true."

So will Janette go back? Will she meet up with this dark handsome stranger? And will this dark handsome stranger present an opportunity for Janette to live out a few fantasies?

My mind is already working on those scenarios and I can't wait to find out what happens.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Helping the Economy!

I do my best to help this stagnant economy. At least I think I do. On a fixed income consisting of a pension and a SS check I am still out there making purchases.

And I do it in the local stores in my area. I go to Mandee's. I go to Job Lot. I'm often seen at WalMart. I go to either Price Chopper, Stop and Shop, or the IGA's.

I figure every little bit helps. We get the things we need, and these businesses stay in business and pay their employees.

This is pretty much what it takes to keep any economy going, stabilizing it to the point that jobs can be created. When that happens, then we've got more people going into the workforce that coming out and who in turn are able to do what I'm doing, which is helping a stagnant economy.

Except at times people like me on that fixed income might use a helping hand in terms of a break in the pricing of these goods and services.

I went to a local HealthTrax facility to see if I could join at a reasonable price that would not seriously jeopardize my budgeted monthly expenses and put it at risk.

This is a facility that once housed tennis courts and held local tennis matches. It is a facility that my late husband frequented quite often, playing in these matches, as well as playing in tournaments that built him a solid reputation as a tennis pro.

I think the match that he would always remember is the one he played during a yearly tournament called the Ralph Strong Tournament where he and his partner John played against Ralph Strong (84) and his partner (50's.)

Bob and John were still in their 30's. Both avid and capable players they ended up losing the match and afterward expressing the fact that Ralph was a very consistent player and very seldom missed the ball as it came over the net.

Although I myself never became a competitive player, I can still hit a forehand, backhand, and overhand and get the ball in the right spot.

Needless to say the faciilty held good memories until this past Tuesday when I decided to go and see what specials they had going. And they did have a special going, as well as an open house. My granddaughter accompanied me and was excited at the prospect of her grammie becoming a member. For an additional fee I would have been able to bring her during school vacations.

In an earlier post I think I related the fact I once belonged to Gold's and when my healthcare costs went up, I had to cut out that monthly expense of $37. In fact every year as my healthcare cost creep higher, I try to cut down on something else.

But with the way the economy is at this point, in the back of my mind I thought just maybe I could get a really good deal and pay less than the $37. But alas, instead the cost even paying ahead turned out to be $41 a month, so an increase. Fixed incomes don't really allow for these increases.

Still I thought maybe I could come home and mull it over, go over my budget figures, see what I might be able to make this work. I told the "salesperson" this. That day they were willing to waive a $30 fee if I signed up right then and there. She then tells me to wait a second while she checks with her boss to see if this was the best deal they can give me. She comes back and tells me that if I wait until Friday to give them an answer, then they would have to charge me the $30 fee. I'm thinking "hard ball tactics" which grates against my soul in a way that puts me immediately on the defense.

Do they not see that all this looks like is that I'm penalized for wanting to think this over rather than sign a contract for close to $600. Then they're telling me that some insurances will cover the whole costs. Unfortunately, my insurance doesn't although they are in some program called GlobalFit where a discount can be given anywhere from 10% to 60%. This I've been given, a whopping 10%. Still the monthly fee is $41.

Three days later the phone periodically rings and it is the health facility calling. I don't plan to answer and am looking into another facility where the rates are low, though they don't offer as much as this first one.

Still, for me it's a place to go where I can get fit and socialize. It doesn't have to have all the bells and whistles. And hopefully this one will fit into my tightening budget, because I'm sure with the way things are going in this nation, what with obesity dangerously on the rise, my healthcare costs will continue to soar and I will be paying that ER visit for someone who has not healthcare insurance, but loves and mindlessly indulges in all that fast food at McDonalds, Burger King, and Pizza Hut.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

One week with Sugar


Yep, it's one week today and yes it has been a bit of an adjustment period for both of us. The beginning of the week I found myself asking, "What the heck was I thinking?" A puppy is work. Every morning instead of coming straight to the computer, I now go straight to the family room and clean out her pen. She sits there and looks up at me, then shakes, jumps, and when I open the door wants to be picked up right away. Reminds me of the days when I took care of babies. Not much difference.

This morning a week later I went through the same routine, as well as washed her with a Quick Bath pad, ensuring I covered everything, and then I brushed her as well. I let her loose and she followed me from room to room. So of course I had to shuffle through the house as I continued to clean out my office, taking more time and getting less done.

Then I looked at her at one point and something came over me. I need to appreciate these "puppy" moments because like with my babies, they are fleeting and you find yourself wondering where all the time went. Of course tears came to my eyes as I picked her up and gave her a kiss and lots of hugs, and a few treats.

Stay in the moment, enjoy the present, and the rest will take care of itself. That's pretty much what I'm learning to do with Sugar. One day she's not going to be able to run like she did this morning, and may simply stay in her spot watching the world go by.

Meantime, she can run like the wind, and enjoy her puppyhood with me.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Cleaning out my office today!

I finally took the plunge and am now starting to move things out, most of which are boxes of books that will eventually be shelved once I get the shelving installed in my office. But first I need to clear it out and to do that takes a bit of strategy on my part. I try to carry the boxes out and managed to do three until I felt a pain in my left lower back. Immediately I put the box down, and kept moving before everything froze up on me. I then took a long hot shower, applied some of the Tropicin cream and kept moving. I then carried small piles of books from a box in the office to the garage. It's the old "taking baby steps" trick that eventually gets the job done.

I found my mind can no longer work in a too clutter environment. There is organized clutter where I know where everything is. And there's the clutter that gets out of hand and is telling me, or practically shouting at me to do something.

And I pick this hot day in August to do it. The house is cool but the garage is up there with temps in the 90's. I give myself several days to get this stage completed. Then I'll wash the walls. Go to Home Depot or Lowes and look for the paint. I'm not sure what color...should it be striking like maybe a terracotta hue. Or more subdued and more in touch with what's on my living walls which is a stone gray color. I'm not sure. They have the small cans of paint you can bring home and try them out.

This room hasn't been touched in over 35 years so long over due. I still remember papering it with a striped blue, gray, and white paper. And I still remember the special blue rug, and blue checked bedspread. This was my older son's room. The last thing done to it actually was sandpapering the wood floor and putting a nice varnish on it. I remember that week my husband spent the time using a hand sander to do the job. Later that week he came with me to an RWA writers' conference in Natick, Ma. This was all during his school vacation, April 2002.

I had wanted someone to come in and do the sanding but you know how men can be when it comes to doing these types of projects. Why pay someone else when they can do it themselves.

It proved to be quite a project, with all that dust produced by the sander. The floor still looks pretty good and has held up over these last seven years.

Now I just have to get to moving out these boxes and make this the office that will help to inspire me to keep creating my stories.

It is late afternoon and still at this time somewhere inside me listens for his voice telling me he's home from school. Although during the summer months he would be coming up after giving a tennis lesson at the local golf club. And then we'd go out a grab a bite to eat. I'm sure this summer he would have all four grandkids on that tennis court teaching them everything he knew about the game.

Yes, life is pretty much taking baby steps and moving forward.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Newest Addition to the Family!




Saturday, August 8, 2009

A PERFECT SUMMER DAY WITH THE GRANDKIDS!






DATING HELL, RELATIONSHIP HEAVEN

It's not that easy for a romance author to write romances when such a thing might be lacking in their own lives, mine in particular. How many of us who are single (or even married) remember when we met someone we were attracted to? We remember that first initial spark that told us or may have presented the question, "Is this the one?"

It's kind of a good feeling isn't it because it produces a sense of euphoria, or what might be called "giddiness" and it can brighten up the world around us. Suddenly, everything is perfect! We're perfect! The world is perfect! Nothing can go wrong, and even if it does, we aren't phased by it; we're falling in love!

And if the attraction is reciprocal, then we start to date that person. And dating allows us to get to know the other person better though it doesn't necessarily mean we're going to end up with that other person. Often times unfortunately this doesn't happen for a number of reasons.

After a time while dating this person things might not go too well in terms of whatever triggered that initial spark and suddenly we find it begins to die a little bit more and more from that point on until we're asking ourselves, "What the hell happened?"

Things aren't so rosy anymore. That euphoria starts to turn into the great disappointment, the great disillusionment, along with feeling some emotional pain, frustration, and even anger.

Dating allows us to know that other person better, much better. And while dating we may actually be given "red flags" that let us know if we're on the right path with the other person. Or if we should jump off of that path and head in the opposite direction.

Dating for those coming out of a divorce or for those who become widowed involves becoming aware of certain things. First, before we enter the dating pool the second, third, fourth (and beyond) time around we need to do some self-examination. In other words are we ready to embark upon this next life's journey?

After entering widowhood I made the mistake of putting myself on this journey far too soon. In retrospect and with a lot of that 20/20 hindsight that unfortunately comes too late I clearly see my mistakes, and the fact that I had ignored so many of those red flags I now ask myself, "What the hell was I thinking?"

I don't regret my time out there because now I can share and help others in some small way avoid some of the pitfalls, and bad choices that I had made when I ventured into the dating arena far too soon.

Then again as I state in my latest book DATING HELL, RELATIONSHIP HEAVEN: A Journey for Baby Boomers After Becoming Divorced or Widowed

"I can only try to explain through the words of Victor Frankl expressed in his book Man’s Search for Meaning (a must read.) He tells us because of his own experience in Nazi Germany inside one of the most brutal concentration camps, “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”


I consider putting my foot into the dating pool too early before any of that self-examination or taking the time to "individuate" into the person I was to become after death ended my marriage and my thirty-three year connection to another simply as that—an abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation.


For me it was the normal thing to do as it helped to distract me from the intense pain which might have done me in at the time.


Yes, especially for those who end a long term relationship either through a divorce or death, and then feel they are ready to get out there and take the plunge into the world of dating baby boomers, my own story can be found inside my book Dating Hell, Relationship Heaven as it may help some navigate through what can sometimes be regarded as treacherous waters.


Don't get me wrong because when you feel you are ready, it's a journey worth taking, but not always an easy one. In fact the journey may take you to a few unexpected destinations. But as some discover it's not always the destination that counts, but the journey itself.


In the end we may in fact find that new love, that new relationship and begin to enjoy life once again.


I hope you will read my book and join me on this journey since I'm still treading waters in that dating pool.


DATING HELL, RELATIONSHIP HEAVEN is now available as an EBOOK at the following sites:


AMAZON.COM (Kindle Version)


SMASHWORDS (Kindle and various formats)


LULU (Ebook download)

Friday, July 31, 2009

What Gets on the News Today!

All writers come to know how difficult it can be to promote our stories. This is part of the overall plan when working as a writer whether in fiction or nonfiction. And for those of us who don't get the nice advances, it becomes that much more difficult especially in these hard economic times.

Now wouldn't it be great if we could get called to appear on talk shows or news broadcasts such as the Today Show? What a wonderful thing that would be if I called say the Today Show and asked them to do an interview of me, a virtually unknown writer. Here I could promote at least my contemporary romances and hopefully the erotic romances. Just how many people would this help? Besides the publishers I'm with, the spotlight would also focus on those behind the scenes such as my editors, the copy artists, those who maintain the websites, do the payrolls, etc.

Yet, I am sure if I call any of these talk shows or news broadcasts I will receive a flat sorry, but we can't fit you in, meaning they prefer someone more well known.

I watched the Today Show this morning and they had on as a guest the ten year old boy who stole his father's car and went for a joy ride! He said he didn't want to go to church.

Yes the boy is very cute, and all kids are at his age. Just look at my four grandkids here. And yes, he looked really cute jumping from that car as the police chased him. Yet, what I really saw was a possible "criminal" in the making. Harsh words yes. But the fact that he got to strut his stuff on the Today Show was in and of itself a pretty nice reward for behavior that should not be tolerated in any shape or form.

I do know my late husband would have been shaking his head in disbelief considering the students he had had to deal with over the years. And parents who would defend their kids behavior and call the administrators to do something about these teachers who try to make kids tow the mark.

All of my grandkids did very well in school during the past school year. All are now moving on to the next grade. One is in kindergarten, one is in first grade, the other is moving in to third grade, and the oldest is now a fifth grader.

The fifth grader wrote two stories, both of which have received recognition by her teachers, the school, and her peers. But if I were to call the Today Show and ask that they have my granddaughter on to tell about her accomplishments I would probably be turned down flat. She not only wrote these stories, she also took part in soccer, basketball, dance, and is now in rehearsals for a town production of Grease. She also brought home a report card of all A plusses. You can imagine how teary eyed I got seeing that she worked extra hard in math since last year she was getting B's. My late husband taught high school math and would have been doing the Snoopy dance all over the place (despite the fact he lacked some rhythm) knowing his grandkids work very hard in school. They are not out there taking their parents' cars and going off on any joy ride.

When I put on the news now all I hear is a lot of criticism of this, and complaints on that, and those who cause chaos in our society are recognized worldwide.

How about recognizing some of those who actually put their nose to the grindstone? Who live pretty ordinary lives yet strive to accomplish their goals.

I don't know about anyone else, but watching that little boy jump from the car, and race into the house had me thinking I was actually watching one of the crime shows on TV where the perpetrator is running from the cops and actually think he can get away with it.

This little boy should write a book about his experience as a fugitive. I'm sure he'll get on all the talk shows. Soon we'll have many more little boys and little girls following in his footsteps.

Why strive for A plusses when you can get to New York and on the Today Show because you decided to take a joy ride in your parents' car.

The Today Show can EMAIL me if they want me to bring my granddaughter who will be more than happy to talk about the two great stories she wrote. She may even put in a plug about her grandmother as well.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Summer vacations!

There's a lot to do on a summer vacation. Spend a day at the beach. Fly to a faraway place. Swim in a backyard pool. Take long walks in the woods, get nearer to nature. But still kids get bored and you have to get creative. Take that energy and put it to good use. That's what I did and in so doing I now have one of the spiffiest mailboxes on my street. Yep what can be regarded as work for some is a whole lot of fun for others.

Take a look!





Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Michael Jackson's Memorial Service




Yes, I was one of the millions who watched the entire broadcast yesterday of the memorial. Personally, I thought it was well done. Like one newscaster stated, there was a nice mix of speeches, eulogies, and songs. It was done in good taste.

I watched with mixed emotions; a great deal of sadness for the family. Jackson's songs will always be a part of my life because listening to them brings back many memories of several time periods, back to my early 20's, through the 30's, and beyond.

As one fan stated these songs whether we like it or not are part of the fabric of our being. When we hear them we are brought back to those times in our lives that we might or might not want to remember.

For me they bring back good times with my growing family, and good times with my late husband Bob. Whatever else happened in Michael Jackson's life lies outside of that emotional connection that I have with his music.

And I thank Mr. Jackson for providing me a gift of his songs. This is a gift that he gave the world.

Good and bad things will be said about him.

But nothing can take away the fact that through all of his songs he touched our hearts, uplifted our spirits, and put smiles on our faces.